Cultivating inner work over outer performance
In fourth grade, I read an issue of "American Girl" that featured a DIY craft called "Pen Pals" — little dolls made by wrapping colorful embroidery thread around a pen. I started making them for my friends, designing each one to look just like them, complete with tiny outfits and beaded braids. I loved hunting for new thread colors and inventing variations, including a way to give the dolls curly hair, like mine. I added beads to braids, molded earmuffs with pipe cleaners, and designed mini fashion outfits. I innovated the craft beyond its predefined limits.
Eventually I entered them in the 4-H fair, and they made it all the way to the state fair. I remember walking through the exhibit hall, genuinely excited, hoping for a blue ribbon. I got a white one. My heart sank, and I don't think I ever made another one.
What I didn't know then was that I'd let the evaluation steal the joy of it. I carried that pattern with me for a long time — through school, through my career, through the quiet pressure to always do a little more. It took years, and some really good therapy, to finally start seeing it differently.
I’ve always enjoyed being creative. Through my sound design skills and unwavering commitment to excellence, I’ve had a rewarding 16-year career in design. My work has propelled startups and large companies, such as Johnson & Johnson and Martha Stewart.
I’m currently leading the Product Design department at Nelnet, overseeing the design of our enterprise software ecosystem and consumer user experience. I guide the team in unifying the experience across disparate software systems, while working to build trust, transparency, and process.
I have transformed company-wide design and product practices to deliver customer value and business impact. My contributions have even been coined “Holly Dust” by our CEO and various teams. ✨
I bring insights that teams crave, gain momentum through uncertainty, and lead like a human. I’ve kept our design team happy and thriving through several reorgs in a short span of time.
The last part — leading like a human — is most important to me. Earlier in my career, my work began to shape my view of myself. Linking my worth to achievements, I realized, came at cost.
High-quality therapy has been life-changing. Therapy helped me pursue the things that would actually help me be the best version of myself — reflection, connection, and curiosity — instead of overworking.
That experience changed not just how I lead, but what I want to spend my career building toward.
Whether I’m leading my team, designing innovative technology, or building relationships, I want to cultivate an emotionally-connected world that celebrates discovering, encountering, and nurturing oneself. I want to create and support a future where doing the inner work to care for ourselves is accessible, comfortable, full of hope, sustainable, and stigma-free for everyone.
